The Ugly Truth

Today I wanted to post looking hot, working out in a perfect house, with a big smile and a perfect life. I wanted to come off as everything is fine, but that would be inauthentic of me and that is not the point of this blog.

The point of this blog is to track how I am as a person. It shows both my highs and lows...and right now I am in a low. I have tried to distract myself, but the sadness creeps in and to not share how I am would be unfair.

For over a week now, I have kept a journal of everything I wish I could say. All the things that my finger hovers over the send button for, but then I chicken out and delete them. To protect my heart and my peace, though, I have to put them somewhere. So I write. I write about the stupid little things like if I liked my lunch or not. I write about the big things like how I don't understand why love isn't enough. I write about memories and my paint by numbers. I write about hopes and dreams.

Today on the drive home from my school, I broke down in the car because I realized that I still believe that love conquers all. Nothing is too big for love to not be enough for. Love is stronger than doubts and runs deeper in the soul than fear. Love works miracles and answers prayers. Love isn't perfect but is so good that it is always worth it. I am a lover who believes. I know that love will get me through this. Love is more than my own negative self talk and will help me get to the next great step in my life whatever that is. Love is enough for me because I have chosen it to be enough. I have chosen to fight for love and I won't stop because love is so good. Love is always worth it because love outlives everything else. Love heals.

Thank you all for being my reminder of love.

Love you big,

Adelaide